The Observe Don’t Absorb Technique (ODA): Neutralizing Narcissistic Abuse

The Observe Don’t Absorb Technique (ODA): Neutralizing Narcissistic Abuse

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Born out of Ross Rosenberg’s own traumatic experiences with pathological narcissists, he credits the discovery of the “Observe Don’t Absorb (ODA)” technique for saving him. Implanting the ODA principles himself many years ago, he was protected from the future abuse of pathological narcissists in his life. Since first discovering this technique 25 years ago, it has provided countless numbers of people with a powerful defense strategy against harmful narcissists.


It is not an exaggeration to say that Ross’s ODA videos have changed the world. As of 4/1/20 they have been viewed over 2 million times.  More important than the number of video views is the positive feedback from well over 20,000 people, many of whom credit ODA as being life-changing and life-saving information.


From ODA’s inception, Ross has further broadened it, both conceptually and practically. It is now an integral component of his 10 Stage Self-Love Deficit Recovery Model, which is the uniting framework of his “Codependency Cure, Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD) and Self-Love Recovery (SLR)” work, all their own separate SLRI seminar videos.


ODA empowers and assists those with Self-Love Deficit Disorder (codependency) with a variety of insights, strategies, and tools that will enable them to successfully set boundaries with Pathological Narcissists (NPD, BPD, ASPD and addicts), and survive the backlash. ODA teaches people to avoid the forever losing proposition of engaging narcissists in conflict. George Bernard Shaw’s saying explains it best: “Never wrestle with pigs. You will get dirty; and besides, pigs like it.” Safe emotional detachment from purposefully manipulative narcissists ensures successful, long-term recovery from SLDD.


The consistent use of ODA allows a recovering SLD to manage the tumultuous and seemingly unbearable blowback of trying to stop emotional abuse from controlling, cunning, and harmful narcissists. It also is a powerful tool in regulating affective states (emotional composure) while staying free and safe from narcissistic abuse. ODA also is an indispensable professional treatment technique that allows psychotherapists to remain emotionally regulated with their difficult and potentially activating clients.


Training participants will be able to identify the diverse types of emotional and interactional activation, which ODA is designed to neutralize. Participants will learn about the manipulative strategies that harmful narcissists employ to draw a person into conflict for the sole purpose of rendering them powerless. A delineation between the pathological forms of disassociation and the controlled and healthy form (the ODA technique) will be presented.


Not only does ODA teach emotional detachment from purposefully manipulative and cunning narcissists, it greatly enhances one’s mental health along the journey to reach “Self-Love Abundance (SLA),” which is the goal of the “Codependency Cure.” It is also a powerful, every-day technique that has the potential be helpful in all situations – from the mundane to the very stressful and critical.


This is the same information found on the seminar video “Pathological Narcissists: Who They Are And What To Do About Them + The Observe Don’t Absorb Technique (6 Hours)”.


The video includes the following:


  •     False Power Syndrome
  •     Roller Coaster Amnesia
  •     The Codependency Delusion
  •     Magical Thinking
  •     The 4 Reasons Boundaries on Pnarc’s Don’t Work
  •     Establishing Homefield Advantage
  •     Observe Don’t Absorb Technique: Stop Wrestling with Pigs
  •     ODA’s 6 Tenets
  •     Predictive Awareness
  •     ODA In The Head – The Emotional Wrestling Ring
  •     The Emotional and Physical Wrestling Rings
  •     Muhammad Ali’s Emotional Knockouts
  •     The Induced Conversation
  •     Using ODA – The Technique
  •     Observing is Healthy Disassociation
  •     Don’t Absorb! and What It Is
  •     ODA Mindfulness
  •     The Nine ODA Fantasy Defense Techniques
  •     The Intern Fantasy Defense Technique
  •     The Syringe Fantasy Defense Technique
  •     Mr. Spock Fantasy Defense Technique
  •     Name Rank and Serial Number Technique
  •     ODA Mantras
  •     Becoming an ODA Warrior
  •     Conclusion


Video Objectives


  •     Introduce “The Human Magnet Relationship” dynamic that is responsible for the SLDD/narcissist relationship.
  •     Examine conflict dynamics occurring between SLDD and pathologically narcissistic partners.
  •     Illustrate the manipulative strategies that harmful narcissists employ to draw a person into conflict for the sole purpose of rendering them powerless.
  •     Examine the “fight or flight” experience and subsequent cognitive distortion that disable recovering SLDD’s from defending themselves against predatory narcissists.
  •     Introduce “The Predictive Awareness” techniques, which foster the proactive identification, analysis, and preparation of narcissistic abuse.
  •     Identify different forms of emotional and interactional activation which ODA is designed to neutralize.
  •     Demonstrate why ODA is an effective defensive strategy for individuals who cannot, or choose to not, terminate their relationship with a pathological narcissist.
  •     Delineate the differences between pathological disassociation and the controlled and healthy form of it – utilized in ODA.
  •     Demonstrate the professional utility of ODA for psychotherapists providing treatment to narcissistic addicts or partners.
  •     Demonstrate ODA Fantasy Defense Strategies that are designed to defuse the threat of narcissistic manipulation and/or abuse.
  •     Learn how to apply mindfulness techniques designed to counteract narcissistic abuse or manipulation.

Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT is a psychotherapist, international speaker, author, professional trainer, and codependency (Self-Love Deficit Disorder), narcissism, trauma and sex addiction expert. He owns Self-Love Recovery Institute, where his work as a writer, psychotherapist, seminar leader, keynote speaker, professional witness is featured.  His trainings, which feature all original work, have been presented in 30 states and twice in Europe and he is regularly featured on TV, radio and online. Ross’s educational YouTube videos have been viewed over 16 million times, attracting more than 170,000 subscribers. His books, “The Human Magnet Syndrome”, have sold over 100,000K copies and been translated and published in six languages.


Ross Rosenberg is SLRI™’s primary trainer. He is the consummate mental health educator. His advanced education, professional license, advanced clinical certifications and more than 30 years of professional work experience enables him to create, produce and provide compelling and life-changing seminars. Ross is also an accomplished international professional trainer and keynote speaker, working in 30 US states (70 cities) and abroad. His educational products span international boundaries, as his book is published in six languages, while his YouTube videos are enjoyed by millions worldwide. Ross’s seminars are like no other, as they are as entertaining as they are informative. His sense of humor and personal vulnerability disclosures of his own recovery journey adds a sense of integrity to his work.

This online workshop will give you instant access to 1 hour of video content, accessible via streaming on our website, as well as downloads for supplemental materials. You can view the course content in your own time, there is no time limit on access.


A certificate of completion will be generated upon finishing the course and completing a short evaluation quiz. Please consult your professional organisation/association to confirm whether you are able to claim any CPD points/hours for this online workshop.